12 Reasons
by Award133
Summary: Kaoru's diary entries about her daily struggles with love. The impossibly handsome and dangerous Battousai makes every day at school a spine tingling and heart pounding experience. *An experience every girl has felt with a high school crush ;
1. Telling you how I feel

This is just a short story!Thanks to everyone who supported my other stories!!!!!Good and Bad reviews are accepted!!!! Please enjoy!!!

**Note:** The chapters are written like a diary entries. Pretend you are reading Kaoru's diary! Lol

"12 Reasons"

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Feb. 14, 2008 11:23 p.m

So…remember when I talked about that guy? Kenshin? Also known as Battousai at my school? Remember when I mentioned about him?? –sigh- He's in my English class and in one of my free periods. I usually see him sitting with his friends during lunch and sometimes I'll see him in the halls. We don't talk much but sometimes we do. If I see him, I'll say hi. I feel stupid sometimes because I feel like I'm the one doing all the talking. He's so quiet! But damn! He is just oh so gorgeous!

Ugh! I can't stand it! Why does he have to be so good-looking?? My friends think I'm being stupid. He usually isn't the type I go for but I just can't help it! Ever since the beginning of last year, first day of English class! He and I sat in the back of the classroom. I remember this because when he sat down beside me, I heard about him and felt really frightened! But then… he asked to borrow a pencil. Ever since then, I've liked him! I can't explain why! It just happened! He was just so incredibly handsome and when he spoke, it was as if his voice seduced me. It sent shivers down my back. Pleasurable shivers….the most wonderful feeling.

But why!? Why would I go for someone like "The Battousai"??? At school he's notorious for his dangerous good looks and bad boy reputation. People run to the sides of the hallway when he walks through the school. His friends walk behind him as if he was their leader. He's like a samurai from ancient Japan. He is untouchable and mysterious. When he walks, his feet glide swiftly across the floor. His body moves like a cat, graceful and calm. His feet hardly ever make a sound when they touch the ground.

What might attract me the most to him is his physical appearance. One sight of him in the hall and my heart pounds like crazy!

Battousai's hair is the oddest color I have ever seen. Long, red hair pulled into a high ponytail and sometimes I'll catch a glimpse of his 'X' shaped scar on his cheek. His scar definitely makes us question what sort of things he's done in the past.

Battousai is also very lean but you can tell he's well built.

Once I snuck a peek at him after school. He was at my school's kendo club. I watched him fight and couldn't believe how fast and talented he was!

Well… under his uniform, I remember catching a glimpse of his chest and….OMG! I think I'm going to faint right about now!

Anyway! They say when you stare into his gold eyes, your body freezes. I wouldn't know since I've never stared directly into his eyes. I never could! His eyes feel like they bore into my soul and can rip out my heart.

Good lord! I get so nervous around him! I should be lucky I even talk to him…sorta…

I'm one of the very few people, besides his friends, who talk to him. I am definitely proud of myself for accomplishing that!

Well anyway….yes dear diary…I've done something stupid …and I think I can never go to school ever again. If I return to school tomorrow…that means I must face him and I don't think I can….

Yes dear diary…After 2 years of liking Battousai. After 2 years of watching him from afar….today I told Battousai I liked him….

UGH! I KNOW I KNOW!!! IM STUPID! Okay!! You don't have to tell me!! I know already! I know!!!!!

I don't know why I told him! Just…over the weekend I went on a little trip with my mother. It was a long trip. Three hours and something minutes long…and! Three hours and something minutes long is a pretty long time to think about things!!!

And I realized that….Battousai and I will be graduating soon and I didn't want to regret it for the rest of my life…you know…never telling him how I felt. So all weekend I kept imagining what I would say and how I would say it and where I would say it! I was so pumped and ready to tell him! I was so impatient! I couldn't wait for today to come around because I had English class last with him!! I even made sure my uniform looked clean and neat! And I let my hair down and combed it nicely….I even put on perfume and a little bit of makeup…

UGHHH!!!! I'm so dumb….what the hell was I expecting!?!?

Well… when class was almost over, my teacher gave us a few minutes to pack and get ready to leave. My heart was pounding so hard! I felt cold and numb but I knew I had to tell him my feelings!

It happened so fast it was like a dream but I remember slowly walking up to him. I sat in the front while he sat in the back of the class. At first, he didn't notice me because he was looking outside the window and he had his music in his ears. I got to the side of his desk and from the corner of my eye I saw him lift his head and pull his headphones from his ears. I never looked at him but kept my eyes on his desk. I might have had the courage to tell him how I felt…but I still couldn't look at him dead in the eyes.

Ugh! So….I remember I stuttered a lot. I said a lot of ridiculous things. I told him about the trip with my mom. I told him how practically four hours is a long time to think about things. I had this whole stupid dialogue planned in my head but I just couldn't remember anything!! I think he got annoyed with me because school was over and he suddenly stood from his seat. I got scared for a second…actually I thought he was going to hit me or yell at me. But instead…he just started to walk away.

I got nervous and upset because he wasn't going to listen to what I had to say!!!

I asked him to wait and he turned around and was like "…tell me tomorrow…"

But I couldn't just do that!!! I worked up all my courage to tell him, I made myself look pretty!! How could he not have waited for me to tell him how I felt!?!?

So…I am so stupid!!!!! So….when he turned around again to walk away I ran in front of him and blocked his path. I still couldn't look at him and instead just stared at my hands that gripped his shirt. He did stop and this time he waited for me.

I started stuttering again and he repeated what he said about telling him tomorrow. I shook my head and was finally like "ISNT IT OBVIOUS!?!?" I got irritated.

He said no and I finally told him….

"Isn't it obvious??...that…I like you?"

ARHHDSDJF!!! I CANT BELIEVE I TOLD HIM!!!!!! WHY DID I TELL HIM!?!?! HE PROBABLY HATES ME NOW!! WHY WHY WHY!?!?! UGDFHJSHKS!!!!!!

And to make things worse!!! After I said it there was this really long awkward pause. I could hear my heart beating. I could hear the clock in the classroom ticking. I could hear all the student's conversations as they walked down the hallway. It was as if time had slowed!

I can't remember what really happened but I remember I clenched my eyes shut really tightly and hands did the same.

Over the weekend…I imagined that he would drag me into his arms and hug me tightly. I imagined that he would confess he loved me too and decide we should be boyfriend and girlfriend…but that never happened.

After awhile he finally said something, he was like…"the thing is…."

I didn't want to hear it! I got scared and embarrassed with myself that I yelled out I didn't want to hear it and that's when I ran away. Yes…I ran away from him. I left my bag and my books at school. I ran all the way home. I never looked back and just ran all the way home…

I'm so stupid…of course he would reject me…

I wish he would say "the thing is….I'm gay." Or something around those lines….I would probably feel a lot better.

God I feel so stupid….I'm so dumb!! Why did I tell him?! What made me go crazy enough to make me go ahead and tell him I liked him??

I don't know…the only thing I know is…tomorrow I must avoid him no matter what…

I already know what he's going to say and I don't want to hear it.

This is my consequence…

Well…anyway…I hope tomorrow isn't that bad…it's almost 12:30 so I'm going to bed.

I'll tell you how tomorrow is…or today…

Goodnight! love, Kaoru

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haha! Sorry! The way im writing this story is definitely different than how I usually write my stories!! I wanted readers to feel what Kaoru feels. I want readers to feel like they personally know Kaoru. Im sorry if this is really bad!! I promise the story will get better! This is just the beginning…sorry…….good and bad reviews are accepted!! Thanks again!


	2. Old Dirty Converse

Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I'm glad people liked this different style. I'm not really used to it but I tried! Good and bad reviews are accepted!!! Thanks again!!!

"12 Reasons"

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Feb. 18, 2008 10:47 P.M

I have this theory. Yes a theory! It's stuck with me for 4 years now and my theory has been proven correct countless of times. Today and the day before my theory was proven again!!!!

Maybe this theory doesn't work for everyone else but no matter how much I hate my theory, it always happens to me….

My theory is…when someone REALLY wants something to happen, it NEVER happens but when someone doesn't EXPECT something to happen, something ALWAYS happens!!

Okay okay! I know it's really confusing but just think about it a little. I know its really general and doesn't make sense…but it's the only way I can explain how life works for me. It seems like my theory happens to me all the time…

…so the day after I told him, I went to school and thankfully I didn't have English that day. I had to run to class early in the morning to get my books and bag. I didn't see Battousai at all! In a way I was also a little sad because I wanted my fantasy to come true. I was hoping I would bump into him and he would finish his sentence.

"The thing is…."

Well…here were my options….1) "I like you too" 2) "I wanted to tell you I liked you too" and 3) "Please go out with me"

Stupid stupid! Those were my stupid options. That's what I WANTED him to say! But I didn't see him at all yesterday. I was upset…but at the same time I was a little relieved. I don't think im ready to face him again. I don't think im ready to face him at all!! Im thinking I should avoid him! I mean because honestly! The point of this whole thing…you know..telling him my feelings, was telling him my feelings! I wanted to at least! tell him how I felt….and I did! So I don't understand why I'm so upset about things!!!!! I did what I've wanted to do for 2 years now! Why am I acting so dumb???

Okay anyway! About today and my theory being proven correct again!

Well after I told Battousai my feelings…I havent spoken to him since…

It's actually kind of painful to watch him walk down the hallways…or talk to other people…its painful to see him at all. It's so awkward when I have to pass him in the hall. I have to look away or pretend I'm distracted by something. I get my friends to walk down the hallways with me, just in case he happens to pass by, so they are there to distract me.

Okay! Sorry sorry! I keep getting off topic!

So yesterday, my friend Yoko needed to go to the teacher's office. She asked me to come along. It was after school and I was feeling a little down about Battousai. I decided to go with her and I knew that Battousai wouldn't be there! So there was no reason why I didn't have to go with her! So anyway!

She and I were waiting for our teacher to finish doing whatever he was doing. Yoko and I were just chatting and suddenly she goes "Oh…! It's Battousai!"

OMG! I really hoped she was just playing a joke on me. I really hoped to god she was. As soon as she mentioned his name, my heart began to pound! I was sooo nervous!

I turn around and Battousai was walking towards us. I freaked out! I silently screamed!

Thank god my friends Takashii and Asuka were there! They walked in before he did. I usually would have said hello to Battousai but I couldn't! And so I didn't. Instead I just talked with Takashii, Asuka, and Yoko. I had to make sure there was no possible way I could talk to Battousai. I ignored him completely!

I stood in between the three of them and just smiled and laughed at what they had to say. Once and awhile, I could see Battousai. He was sort of standing in front of me. From the corner of my eye I watched him. He looked so gorgeous today too! Of course he was wearing the usual school uniform…but he looked gorgeous…I never knew worn out, dirty converse looked so hot on a guy. I never knew messy bangs in front of a guy's eyes could look so sexy…I never knew a guy whose shirt was slightly unbuttoned could look so DAMN GOOD! That killed me…..KILLED ME!!

I silently asked Yoko to hurry and as soon as she was done with what she needed we…well I!! practically sprinted out of there!!!! It sucked because I had to pass him on the way. I kept my head down. I was just too embarrassed….

ASJDJASHDJ!!!!! IM SO DUMB!!!

And that's not the end of it either!!!!!!!!

Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh….

So…Yoko and I met up with Takashii and Asuka again. We decided we would go and get some ice cream. Asuka decided to treat me because she said she "understood how I felt about battousai" and stuff. She said it wasn't that bad…TCH! I don't know where she's been for awhile but it most definitely IS BAD!!!!

Well on the way out of the school gates, I saw my other friend Kentaro!! I ran up to him and said HI! And then it just so happens that Battousai was walking right in front of him! LIKE A FOOT IN FRONT OF HIM!!!!! I saw him and got nervous. I'm not really sure what happened but Asuka told me Battousai turned around and looked at me. Anyway…I tried to make it look like I wasnt silently freaking out in the inside. I just talked with Kentaro and when Yoko came up to us, she made fun of me. I quickly said goodbye to them and I grabbed Yoko's hand and we ran past them. I didn't bother turn around to look at them. I hope I looked okay…

WAIT! It gets even worse!!!!!!!!!

So after running to town, the four of us finally get to this ice cream shop we usually go to. I like that place because not many students from school…especially Battousai…go there after school. Heehee! Of course I ordered my favorite Green Tea ice cream!

Well anyway! I was finally glad I didn't see Battousai…I started to relax and was enjoying my ice cream! We were laughing and having fun! For once I forgot about Battousai but GUESS WHO SUDDENLY SHOWS UP!?!?!?

Battousai and Kentaro!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I never never never! Expected them to go there!! Everyone was really happy to see Kentaro…It was awkward at first with Battousai. I mean…no one ever spoke to him besides me. He is pretty infamous at our school. It was odd to see the most intimidating, dangerous, and GOOD LOOKING guy at school in an ice cream shop….with us….The group started talking to him after awhile. And yes he spoke too…like always his voice seduced me. The low, deep voice he has that crawls over my skin…

SINCE WHEN WERE KENTARO AND BATTOUSAI FRIENDS!!?!?!?!?!?

Argh!!! So they sat down with us. Battousai sat on the other side of me. I stayed silent the entire time while everyone just talked and had fun. I was so so so so so so nervous!!! I didn't even eat my ice cream!! I was afraid I would look stupid and just kept my head down.

Once and awhile Kentaro would ask me something and I would look up and say something. Usually a one word answer but everytime I looked up! Battousai would stare at me!!!!!! I made sure I never made eye contact with him…I didn't want to freeze anyway.

I hate the fact that I act so stupid in front of him yet he just sat there all nonchalantly and expressionless.

WHY WHY WHY WHY!??! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Do you see now!? My theory!?!? I didn't want to see Battousai at all! Why is it that when I DON'T want to see him…I do…? BECAUSE OF MY STUPID THEORY THAT'S WHY!!!

The gods obviously hate me right now…….I cant take this!! Someone save me…..

-sigh- so after awhile Kentaro said they had to go. So they left…and that was the end of my day…my horrible horrible horrible day!!!!!!! Tomorrow better be a good day….

Goodnight! Love, Kaoru

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Well there is chapter 2…I hope you liked it! I promise the story will get better! This is still the beginning! Thanks again!


	3. Pencils and colds

Thanks for all the reviews! I appreciate it a lot! Good and Bad reviews are accepted! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

"12 reasons"

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Feb. 21, 2008 10:28 P.M

Hoorah! Hoorah! Today must have been the best day ever! I'm so happy! I feel like my heart is about to explode from my chest! I can't stop smiling!

Well my morning was horrible at first. I have a fever.This morning my mom yelled at me for something so stupid. I almost tripped and killed myself on the stairs at school. Everyone laughed and now I think my ankle is a little swollen…Oh! Then I had this major test today. I forgot to study so… dur! I definitely failed it….So much more had happened but in the end…my morning was bad. By lunchtime, I was feeling a little down. I even had to sit alone during lunch because Yoko and the others had a club meeting. So yeah…I know…my day seemed to totally suck…BUT! IT GETS BETTER!

OH! OH! Actually! Let me explain this first! Rewind to yesterday for a bit! Heehee yesterday was a good day too! 

Yesterday my class was ending, teacher asked me to hand something in to him. As I was about to run up to him, I accidentally bumped into my desk. My pencil case dropped on the ground and all my pens and pencils came rolling out. I felt embarrassed and when the bell rang and everyone began leaving the classroom, I decided to wait until they moved out of the way so I could pick my things up. I waited until everyone left, even teacher! I bent down to pick my things up and SUDDENLY! Suddenly…Battousai crouched down beside and helped me pick up my things. I was so shocked because I thought he had left. He had been standing behind me the entire time!

AAHH! I could die of laughter right now!

It was really hard for me to just sit there and pick my things up. Not only was I extremely embarrassed but I was so nervous! He and I were so close together! I could actually see every single strand on his eyelashes! I could smell his cologne! He smells incredibly good by the way…AND! I could even feel his body heat. My body sort of refused to move but I forced my hands to grab as many of my pencils as possible. I got so flustered that our hands accidentally brushed against each other! At that moment, I looked up and said I was sorry. AND IT HAPPENED! IT HAPPENED! It finally happened!

Battousai looked up and our eyes locked. I looked into Battousai's eyes for the first time in my life! I looked into the most incredible, gold eyes! Those bone chilling, body freezing, hair rising, soul tearing, GLORIOUS eyes! And the rumors were true! Your body does freeze when you look into his eyes. My body froze! Something about his eyes pulled me in. I just couldn't look away!

Now…I cant really remember what happened because it all seemed to happen so fast…I cant remember what I was feeling…but it must have been really good. It must have been good because I remember smiling. I remember feeling my lips pull into this large smile across my face and I just couldn't stop! I should have felt nervous or flustered but instead I felt really bubbly and giddy. I felt so incredibly happy! I just couldn't help but smile! Battousai must have noticed this…and now THIS! Is what made my heart flutter and make my insides do flips and turns…Battousai smiled too.

Oh! And it was such a lovely smile too! It wasn't this big and goofy grin like mine probably was! No no…his smile was small and subtle. More like a smirk than anything else. And good lord! He looked so incredibly handsome. My heart felt like it was fighting to jump out of my chest!

I can still remember the image in my mind. Those wonderful red tresses…messily falling over his forehead…shadowing those insanely insane gold eyes of his….that dangerous side smirk…AHJSHDSJHD!

Battousai must be a god…he has to be! No one can look as perfect as he does! He must be a god! An angel or a demon….it doesn't matter! He cant possibly be human!

Well anyway, I cant remember who turned away first...I'm pretty sure it was him...we finished collecting my things and as we both stood up, he handed me my pens and pencils. I gave him a small bow and muttered a 'thanks'. When I looked up at him again, he didn't say anything. He just swung his bag over his shoulder with one hand, loosened his tie, and walked past me.

I couldn't believe it! I could not believe it! Last night, I saw everything in a brand new light! Dinner never tasted so wonderful! My bath never felt so relaxing! My bed never felt so comfortable! I couldn't get any sleep last night yet I wasn't tired at all when I woke up this morning! I wanted to fall asleep as fast as I could because I wanted to see him again! I wanted to go to school so bad!

So…let me explain this first…I kind of have this fever right now. I think I got it last night after I took my bath. I sat by my opened window and just looked outside all night. I woke up feeling awful but I just HAD to go to school. After what happened yesterday! How could anyone stay home?

It's still pretty bad though… but anyway! Today when class was almost over, our English teacher let us finish a little early. Everyone stood to wait by the door to leave. What happened was…this boy from my class stepped in front of me so I had to take some steps back. I never looked behind me but I kind of knew that Battousai was somewhere behind me. I didn't think much of it because I was so sick and feeling really crappy. Anyway…I was touching my forehead and rubbing my eyes because I was getting a little dizzy. I decided to turn around and ask teacher if I could attend the nurse. So I turned around and Battousai was standing directly behind me! I was so shocked! I immediately looked away but I think I got too excited that I suddenly got really dizzy. I got so dizzy that I actually fainted a little and tripped. A bunch of the guys from my class came to my side and helped me stand. 

I was feeling so horrible. I was sorry for making everyone worry too. Teacher came over and told me to go to the nurse. Ugh! I felt so stupid! I looked at Battousai. I hoped he didn't think I was weak or anything.

So teacher told me to go to the nurse. I turned around and was about to leave when someone suddenly grabbed my arm. I thought it was one of the guys so I allowed him to help me to the nurse. It wasn't until we got to the door when teacher called out 'Watch after her Himura!'

Himura! Teacher said Himura! That is Battousai's last name! So when I looked up, Battousai was right beside me! I could not believe it! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? Battousai helped me to the nurse!

I tried to say something but I felt too sick. I tried to tell him it was fine. I think I was able to get some mumbles out because he looked down at me a couple times. I lost my voice every time he did that though. I'm not sure if it was because I was sick or because he made me choke up…

The trip to the nurse seemed to take forever. He made sure we walked slowly so I wouldn't fall over. Once and awhile, he would ask me if I was alright. I could only nod. I was so tense! I tried not to lean all my weight on him because I didn't want to seem heavy…but that all went to waste when we got to the stairs!

OMG OMG OMG! Diary you wont believe what happened! 

So so so! the nurse is on the bottom floor so we got to the stairs. I went ahead of him a little to grab the railing when suddenly he said 'don't' .I turned around and asked him why.

Battousai picked me up! HE PICKED ME UP! He picked me up and carried me down three flights of stairs!

AHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHH! OMG OMG OMG! BATTOUSAI ACTUALLY CARRIED ME!

Should I say this again? I was in Battousai's arms! He carried me!

Now I am saying! He actually bent down and lifted me up bridal style! He picked me up in a way where his arm wrapped around my waist! He picked me up in a way that I was pressed against his body. He picked me up in a way that I could sneak a peek into the opening of his shirt! He picked me up in a way where I could stare at his wonderful facial features. I was able to examine his face so closely! 

AHHH! I could die right now! I feel so happy! I wish I wasn't so sick! But then again! IM SO HAPPY I WAS SICK! Or else that NEVER would have happened! DO YOU SEE? My theory was proven again! I never would have thought something like today and yesterday would have happened! AND IT DID!

I could scream out and not care what anyone thinks! I feel so happy! I feel so happy I could cry!

That wasn't the end of it either! Battousai never let me go when he reached the first floor. He carried me all the way to the nurses office! He even carried me to the bed and guess what else? He laid me down and even covered me with the blanket!

Omgosh! I never felt so happy! I remember hiding my face with the blanket. I can still remember the cool blanket on my heated face. The smell of the clean sheets…the smell of alcohol and other things found in the nurses office. It's still a little hazy but I remember Battousai explaining to the nurse what was wrong with me. I remember she whispered something to him and before I closed my eyes to doze off, I remember him glancing at me one last time. He turned and left the room. I felt a little sad that he left but I was too tired to say anything. The nurse came over to me and said things to me that I can't remember right now. She told me to sleep or something like that. She put an ice pack on my head and that's all I can remember from there. I must have fallen asleep. I don't know how long I slept for but I awoke when something cold was pressed against my neck. I woke up and I was so sweaty and felt hot and gross. Yuck….

Ugh….but then I realized that Battousai was there again! He had bought me a cold drink and placed it beside my neck. He told me I had to keep certain places of my body cold. I didn't say anything but just smiled. I hid my face under the blanket again! Haha! I was soo mortified! I never took the blanket off my face. He told me to 'feel better' and that he would 'see me later'. I just nodded but didn't say anything. How could I have said something? I was humiliated but I never felt so happy in my life!

I'm so happy right now! So happy! I feel so happy! I have never felt this happy! Omg! You don't understand how happy I feel right now! 

After he left I was alone in the nurse's office! I kicked off my blankets and started squealing like an idiot! I kicked the bed and was banging my fists!

My life is so great right now! I can't wait to see him again! I don't care if he doesn't like me back! If I could spend the rest of my school days like this…I will be the happiest person in the world!

Goodnight! Love. Kaoru!

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Good and Bad reviews accepted!


	4. Coffee milk and tears

Sorry I haven't uploaded in awhile

Sorry I haven't uploaded in awhile! Here is chapter 4! Am working on "Best of the best" too!! Thanks to all those who reviewed!! I hope you enjoy this chapter!!

"12 Reasons"

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Feb. 23, 2008 11:32 P.M

Yesterday I stayed home to make sure my fever would go down. I was a little upset about not going to school because I wasn't able to see Battousai today! Aw…oh well…I had English class yesterday too….

Well anyway!! My days seem to be getting better and better every single day!! Today must have been the best day EVER!!

AHHH!! I feel so so so so so so sooo happy!! I could burst out laughing right now! My heart is seriously trying to escape out of my chest!!

Okay okay okay! So today I returned to school and my friends were glad to see me. Everything went back to normal…I had English class…if I saw Battousai I would get all nervous and whatever. Now of course something bad must happen first so here is the horrible, horrible, HORRIBLE! Part!!

During lunch today, I bought Battousai some coffee milk. I've seen him drink it before so that's why I bought it for him. I looked for him around the school. I wanted to give it to him to thank him for taking care of me. I swear I looked everywhere!! I went to every corner and every classroom in the school. But I finally found him. He and his friends were sitting on the bottom floor, the complete other side of school, and the farthest hallway from any classroom. When I turned the corner I saw them but I quickly stepped back and hid myself behind the wall. I admit I got really jealous because there were a couple girls there. One was standing snuggly in between his legs and resting herself on his chest while in he leaned against a wall. What surprised me even more was the fact that his right arm swung around her shoulders and his face was only inches from hers. If she lifted her chin just a little, she could kiss him. I was so shocked! I never knew he was like that! Ugh! I can still see the image in my mind!! UGH!! GO AWAAYY!! Anyway….

So I felt really sad…I choked and almost began to cry. No wonder he didn't say anything when I said I liked him. He already had a girlfriend!

God! I was so sad! His friends started laughing and making howling noises so after awhile I did start to cry! I imagined that he was kissing her, that's why they were howling at him. I just stood there, hiding behind the wall. I had to cover my mouth to make sure I didn't make a sound. I felt so heartbroken! So so so so soooo heartbroken!

The girl was really pretty too! You know…she was the kind of girl with long, curly hair, Short skirts and cute accessories. She had an awesome figure and legs that seemed to go on forever. No wonder he had no interest in me…

Ugh I hated her guts at that moment!! ARGH!!

Okay okay breathe breathe!

So anyway, I remember sliding to the floor and just sitting there listening to their conversation. The girl was saying something like "Ohhh Kenshin!"…KENSHIN! She called him KENSHIN!! She called him by his real name!! At that moment I knew they were dating.

She was like "Ohhh Kenshin! Don't you want to come over tonight?"

Bleh….

His friends started howling again and I wanted to cover my ears but I sat there and listened. I don't know why! But I wanted to hear what he was going to say.

The girl kept talking though…she was like…

"Kenshin? Don't you want to date me?"

Now when she said that! It definitely caught my attention! So…they weren't dating??

I peeked around the corner to look at them and I saw Battousai smirking at her. His face got closer to hers and I watched as she closed her eyes! He was going to kiss her!!

OH GOD!! I looked away so quickly I swear I almost got a whiplash! I stood up so fast and turned around to run away, when I bumped into Sano.

I've known Sano since grade school and he was one of Battousai's best friends. I was really surprised and really embarrassed.

I told Sano I was sorry and when I tried to run away, Sano grabbed my arm and asked me what I was doing there.

I told him I wanted to thank Battousai but it seemed like he was busy with his girlfriend. When I said that Sano suddenly started to burst out laughing! And the next thing I knew, Sano grabbed my arm and started walking towards the group!

OMG OMG OMG!! I couldn't believe what he was doing! I tried to pull away but Sano was way to strong for me. Sano called out Battousai's name and the whole group turned their attention and looked directly at me!

I felt like they were a group of wolves looking at me with hungry eyes! I was a little mouse that squeaked for Sano to let go of me.

UGH!! I was so embarrassed!! I didn't want to be there!! My heart was ripped in two!! And Battousai kept staring at me; his eyes wouldn't stray. Those gold eyes of his...something deep inside me wanted to believe that it wasnt true...I wanted to believe it so badly. I noticed something in his eyes flickered and i turned away from his stare and I watched as the girl in his arms started to glare at me.

So Sano pulled me to stand directly in front of Battousai and the girl. Sano told him what I said to him and he started to burst out laughing again. I didn't understand why…but I guessed that he was laughing at me for actually buying Battousai something.

I felt my face grow hot and im pretty sure I was blushing like crazy. I wanted to cry again…I really hated Sano at that moment…and I really hated Battousai too….I wished he would at east tell me to go away. But he just stood there and then asked me what was wrong.

I had to hold back tears and I knew that if I stared at him, my tears would start to fall. So I just stared at his feet and the girl's feet which were placed right in between his.

Well anyway! So I thanked him for helping me the other day and I told him how I saw him drink coffee milk before and how I bought one for him as a thank you present. I stretched out my arm to give it to him and when I finally looked up, the girl was glaring at me like crazy.

Ugh!! I wanted to kill her so bad! She didn't have to be so angry!! I was going to steal her boyfriend away from her!!

ANYWAY! I didn't look at Battousai…instead my attention went to the girl when she scoffed and pushed the drink away from her face. She said that he didn't want to drink something that I bought for him. She started calling me names and whatever!

I got so angry but I started to feel tears well up in my eyes too! Thank god Sano came to my side and put his arm around my shoulders. He told her to stop being mean and took the coffee drink from me. I didn't care if he took it…I just wanted to leave. I just said 'thanks' one last time before I turned around to leave.

Now THIS! Is what surprised me the most!! As I turned around, Battousai told me to wait. I turned around and Battousai was looking at the girl again. I thought he was going to kiss her in front of me but instead he smirked again. The guys started to snicker and the girl smiled too.

Battousai just looked at her and was like "sorry…but I don't like fake girls like you…" The girl looked horrified!!

OMG!! He told her off!! And the girl got so furious!! After Battousai said that the guys around her started to burst out in laughter. And I mean…they BURSTED out in laughter! Their laughter could be heard all the way down the hall!! I jumped in surprise and Sano handed the coffee drink back to me. I had no clue what was going on!

Anyway the girl started yelling and whatever and Battousai just sort of nudged her away a little. The guys started saying stuff like…"He likes someone already!" and "He's already got a girl!" and "Go away! He doesn't like you!!"

I don't know….so I guess Battousai did have a girlfriend but for some reason I felt a bit better when it wasn't her. I knew Battousai wasn't like that! I knew he wouldn't go for girls like her!

But omg! When the girl and her friends were leaving they gave me the biggest glare ever!! I actually got a little intimidated…but whatever….

So anyway…I sort of just stood there as everyone was laughing and joking around but when Battousai stepped towards me, they hushed down and just listened.

Battousai acted like nothing had happened. He asked me if I was feeling better and I was like…"Oh! Yeah! Thanks!"

I noticed that he was eyeing the coffee milk and I told him I was sorry. I told him I thought he liked coffee milk. So I sort of went to put it behind my back, but he grabbed it from my hands and said it was okay. When I asked him if he was sure, he just nodded and said it was his favorite drink.

I felt so much better! I felt so relieved!

I don't remember what happened after all that, but I remember smiling and telling him I would see him in class. So I just said bye to Sano and some other guys from my classes, and turned around to leave when Battousai told me to wait for him after school at the front gates. I didn't understand why, but I just said okay.

I ran all the way back to the classroom and was so out of breath by the time I got there. I was leaping and skipping, I jumped up two steps every time I ran up the stairs. I dont know why...but I had to get the feeling out of my chest. I felt like running around the school for the rest of the day.

I was upset but I was happy too…even though Battousai had a girlfriend…I still felt like it was alright.

Omg! The rest of the day I couldn't concentrate at all!! All I could think about was what had happened during lunch. The images just kept reappearing in my head. Ugh!!

So the end of the day finally came around and I waited at the front gates. I felt so so nervous! He was kind of taking awhile and I got a little worried that he lied or was playing a joke on me, but then I saw him walk towards me.

Okay…sorry diary…it's almost 1 in the morning and I have to go to sleep…I'll continue writing what happened tomorrow...

Goodnight! Love Kaoru

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Thanks to all those reviewed!! Tell me what you think!! Bad and good reviews are accepted!!


	5. Taiyaki in the park

Last Chapter

Last Chapter!! Yay!! Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed!! I really appreciate it!!

I hope you enjoyed my short story!!

Taiyaki- Sort of like waffles that are filled with red bean, custard, chocolate, or cheese in a shape of a fish. Reaaallly tasty! I like custard filled ones the best!

"12 Reasons"

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Feb. 24, 2008 11:25 P.M

Okay! So as I was saying before….

So Battousai walked towards me and omg…I was so panicky!! He looked so nice too!! I knew my breaths were coming out in pants because I could see the smoke puffing out from my frozen lips. It was so cold! I probably looked like a fat, stuffed marshmallow with my jacket and scarf. Ugh…whatever! ANYWAY!

Battousai looked so wonderful though!! AGH!! He walked towards me in nothing but his winter uniform and a scarf. His hand was gripping his bag that he carelessly threw over his shoulder. His red hair glowed against the gray sky and his eyes seemed to shine brighter that any other day. He took long, strides towards me and his feet never even made a scratching sound against the ground. He looked so perfect and I remembered why I fell in love with him again.

My throat seemed to choke up. He must have noticed my nervousness because when he finally got to my side he said he was sorry for making me wait in the cold and he thought I wasn't feeling well again. I acted like such an idiot too!! I was freaking out and started stuttering and stuff. Ugh! I was like…"NO NO! I'M FINE REALLY!!" but my teeth were chattering…hahaha! Stupid me….

But then I'm really glad it happened that way because Battousai said he knew I was going to say that and he pulled out two hot coffee drinks for us!! I was so shocked!!

When I looked up at him, I kind of laughed a little and he smiled…and I don't mean…the usual little smirk…this time his lips pulled up juuuust a bit higher. OOHHHH!! and what a glorious smile it was!! I felt my heart flutter and my cheeks grew hot. This time I knew for a fact it wasn't from the coffee!

So I asked him why he wanted me to wait for him and WAHAHAHA!! He said he wanted to take me out for some food and he wanted to walk me home. He said teacher told him to make sure I was okay. Even though teacher made him do all this for me…I still felt really happy!!

HAHA! My reaction must have been so priceless!! I choked on my coffee and started sputtering a little. Haha I don't think he noticed all that much!

So Battousai and I walked down the road and he took me to this little ramen shop. He said he liked to eat there and it was one of his favorite places. It was a really nice place too. It was tiny and quaint but really comfortable. It felt so nice and warm in there too! We were greeted by this old woman that was really sweet. I could tell Battousai went there a lot because as soon as we walked in, the old woman hobbled over and gave Battousai a little pat on the arm. Hahaha! It was such a bizarre sight! Battousai, the most notorious bad boy at my school was bowing to a small, old, ramen shop owner. I couldn't stop laughing!! We sat down and he ordered for us! It was so nice there! I was a little nervous about eating in front of him though…I didn't want to look like a pig and stuff. I didn't want to slurp my noodles and have soup all over my face or something. When our food came out…I was a little hesitant at first but then as we talked a little more…soon it was like none of that mattered. I slurped as loud as I possibly could! Haha who cares about the soup splashing onto my face! The food was sooo good!!

We…well actually I… mostly talked about school and I mentioned how everyone is so amazed by him. He asked me why I didn't react like everyone else did when I was with him. I told him I didn't know but I knew he was a good person. I was really happy because when I said that he said he knew I was a good person too. He said that was why he was comfortable with bringing me to the ramen shop. Even though he knew the place was simple and plain, I would enjoy it.

SAJHASJKHD!! OMG! When he said that my face must have turned an abnormal shade of red. I was so embarrassed yet really flattered. Even though Battousai was, in a way, telling me I was plain and simple! HAHAHA! Ohhh welll! Battousai was very quiet and didn't say much. He usually just sat there and would stare at me while I chattered away. Sometimes it was hard for me to just talk while he stared at me through the curtains of his bangs. It just made him look even sexier than usual! IIEE!!

So anyway!! Battousai was kind enough to pay for both of our meals but I felt kind of bad and I told him I wanted to treat him too. He told me not to worry about it but I said that I really wanted to. And also…I wanted to find an excuse to stay with him longer! Hehehe!

So I told him I would pay for desert. It was too cold for ice cream or whatever so we decided we would go for Taiyaki. We found a small stand that was selling Taiyaki and haha! The funniest thing happened! We both decided to get two each and we sort of got into this little argument about which filling was better. Battousai said he didn't like sweets too much so he preferred red bean filling. I said I love sweets and preferred chocolate and custard fillings instead!!

I really had so much fun with Battousai! I thought I would feel nervous and uncomfortable! But I didn't feel that way at all!! I actually enjoyed being with him!! I felt myself let go and become my natural self! I didn't act phony or I didn't try to act cute or girly!! I just acted the way I felt was natural!! I couldn't believe how much fun I was having! And from the looks of it! It looked like Battousai was having fun too!! …Even though….he hardly smiled or said a word…hahahah!

So we continued on the way to my house and I was really happy when we decided to sit on some swings in a park not too far from my house! So we just sat on some swings and ate our little fishies! Heehee!

So it began to grow darker and it was getting chillier and for a short while…we sort of stopped talking. And then that's when I remembered that Battousai had a girlfriend. For some reason I had a feeling that it was that girl Tomoe at our school. I always saw them together and it made me jealous sometimes. She was just like him too. They seemed perfect for each other. She was quiet, absolutely beautiful, mysterious, and known to be untouchable just like Battousai. She was the equivalent of Battousai…

I remember sighing and kind of losing myself to my thoughts. I suddenly wanted to go home. I realized that the longer I was with him, the more I would fall for him which meant the harder it would be for me to face the truth. The truth was…Battousai was waaaaayy out of my league. Battousai was this beautiful creature carefully hand crafted out of marble and stone and I was a plain and simple girl made out of mud and clay. Battousai hung out with me that day because teacher told him too. Battousai was able to do all that for me because he didn't have feelings for me…what so ever….

So I remember standing from the swing and I told Battousai that it was getting late and it was time for me to get home. He offered to walk me home but I told him it was fine. I couldn't stand another moment with him anyway…I was just so upset.

We locked eyes for…I don't know how long but suddenly…out of nowhere…I felt like I had to say something one last time. My heart was pounding so hard! But I knew…that just for one last time…I had to tell him how I felt.

So I smiled and was like "You know…you owe me A LOT!"

He asked me why and I started to count all the reasons why he owed me…I was like…"well, for one thing, I let you borrow my pencil the beginning of the school year…two, once you stepped on my foot and didn't apologize to me"

When I said that, his lips quirked into a little smile…it seemed like he was trying not to laugh. Anyway I continued going on…"Three, once I was waiting on line during lunch for the last coffee milk and you bought it…." He smiled again.

"Four, I gave you those 'friend' valentine chocolates…but I didn't receive anything in return! Five, that time you accidentally got our tests switched and you drew that picture all over it…six, for the coffee milk I bought for you…seven, for the taikyaki I bought for you today…eight, for making me wonder where you are during English class and you come strolling in late! Nine, for always being so emotionless I can never tell what you're thinking! Ten is for existing in this world, and eleven!!"

The words got stuck in my throat…and I felt the tears swell up and threaten to fall down my cheeks. I took that moment to stare at him and once again…I couldn't tell what he was thinking. He just stood there, in silence, and I watched as the wind played with his red locks. I decided that I was being stupid…crying like that. Making it all dramatic like a stupid soap opera…but I just couldn't help feel the drama! It was just SO DRAMATIC FOR ME!! I really loved the damn guy!! I really did like him a lot!!

So I felt myself choke and I really tried to hold back…but as soon as the words fell from my mouth…the tears fell freely too…

"Eleven is for making me fall in love you…" I sort of mumbled the last few words…but im sure he got it…

UGH! I said it….I told him I loved him…yep yep yep…im a big idiot….

So I just continued to cry and I really felt stupid when he just stood there. He just STOOD there!! He didn't say a word! Instead he just stood there and frowned. I began to cry even more…his lack of response made me feel like a total fool!!

ARGH! So…I just sat, slightly swinging myself on the swing, crying…my tears becoming tiny icicles down my cheeks. My nose was red from the cold weather and from rubbing it. I sniffled and hiccupped. And he still did nothing…

He just stood there!! I was seriously about to just turn around and run home…but then what happened next REALLY surprised me….

Suddenly Battousai came to stand in front of me. He held the swing and brought his face to my eye level and was like "…you might have to add a twelfth reason to your list…"

I was really confused and I asked him why

He said "Because of this…"

And before I could even ask him what he meant…or before it could even register in my mind…Battousai suddenly grabbed me by the arms…and kissed me. And I don't mean…just a smooch on the lips…I mean!! KISS KISS!! I mean!! MAJOR KISS!!

My toes tingled and my heart stopped completely!! I could feel his hair brush against my cheeks! I could feel my lips begin to warm again! I suddenly became VERY aware of his arms wrapping around my shivering body and his fingers slowly running through my hair!! I couldn't believe that THE Battousai was kissing ME!!

BATTOUSAI KISSED ME!! JSAHDJSADBIEWBJJECQUB!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT DIARY!? !! he kissed me!! Battousai kissed me!! He kissed me!! He kissed me!! AHHH!! I want to jump around and scream and the top of my lungs!! I never felt so happy in my entire life!! That was DEFINITELY the best day ever!!

Okay okay okay!! So he pulled away from me and he told me he loved me too…ever since he borrowed my pencil that first day of class….

TEEHEE!!

Sorry diary!! So that's what happened!! I got to go to sleep now!! Kenshin and I are going on a date tomorrow!

Goodnight, Love Kaoru

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THE END!! I hope you liked it!! My short story!!

Good and bad reviews are accepted!!


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